but often we're apart, absence makes the heart lose weight

more eskilstuna/malmö:

stealing schoolfood:

applepie by one's ex's mother:

rainy afternoons when you fought with your best friend

a boy with the prettiest of necks:

of course testing my new tripod Carlo Egg:

hairstyling:

bikepark!!

punkgryta!

bye bye.

you know time goes by fast like rain it swallows your every sound from whisper to rising howl

I am at my mother's place again and from her laptop i found loads of nearly-forgotten photos from last august-september from my little adventure in eskilstuna/malmö/sthlm/gothenburg. So here is a fraction of them (more coming up later):

a little bit of way out west

much chess and cigarrettes

familylunch

malmöadventures

eight-hours in a car with a borrowed brother who sponsors your obesity

picnics

surprises

and eventually leaving again and letting a friend take blurry pictures before stepping into the cute-in-it's-whitetrashy-mannered-finland's-ferry that takes you back to everything you disliked from everything you liked.

i know i'm all done here, let's go

Did you mean what you said?
cause it sounded so true
is real really dead
cause it looks so damn good

(sometimes you go on postmidnight adventures to get away from flashbacks from the past)

tule pelaamaan meidän kanssa krokettia lyömään puisella mailalla erivärisiä puisia palloja läpi porteista tule pelaamaan me pitäisimme sinusta

we celebrated my goodbyeparty.

nea was thereso was julietea and homemade cookies were appreciated!

in their class, anh thu is known as the bitch and harriet is the diva and they don't make friends with other girls though they are the sweetest girls for real.

jere throwing petra around!

so we played backyard croquet in the dark (camera's flash as our only light!). me and julie won! then we promenaded to town and went to Klubi and then to Dynamo and then back to Klubi and had pizza in a park at 5am.


and the sentence i've heard too many times during the last four weeks is "it always feels like you're leaving." but i really do love goodbyes.

drink, drink, i drink to keep my cool

sometimes you're sitting there and thinking how depressing it all looks. and then you think of it as being a test, testing different types of lives that you could write about in your biography in seventyseven years.

you can run away leave your books behind you

but you should look back twice
just to be on the safe side



my heart is aching.
for the first time now my heart is aching for leaving finland behind. and this was all because of Jarno who wrote the following:
"she's moving again!
Little-Finland wasn't the answer for the winds of ze world. The homeless has a home everywhere :)
But as always, there is a place for you in Finland also:
'Callie, in the summer rain
You will be kept dry, you see.'"


don't you just love goodbyes.

but i thought you said summer is going to take the pain away

and i gave up already in august. i guess i'll wait until next summer then.


veera came to visit me from helsinki. and she is lovely she is. people like her make the waiting a little easier, the waiting doesn't feel as heavy on your neck when there is a veera jumping around with your camera stand or planting tulips or sleeping next to you in your t-shirt. now veera and i have experienced all seasons together once. i hope we'll share a nice pretty series of all seasons over and over again.

i can guarantee you this is a cloud of smoke trying to occupy space

you wrote as much for yourself as for me

i have a notebook that is getting filled with texttexttext. last thing added to it was a letter from Hai in which he wrote about how he loves the smell of my hair and how he is turning into a cockroach.
















and i write letters to people into it also, ripping off the pages then later on. and i know: i am writing as much for myself as for them.

and we frolicked about in our summer skin

because it's the first real fall-day, i let some photos from the summer to visit the polaroidmakercomputerprogram.
summer to me was
- longing for the fall
- smoking
- friends
- somebody tickling your back
- smoking with friends
- ambulance after midsummer
- longing for the fall
- smoking alone
- longing for the fall and smoking
- way out west
- fika

p.s. the text seems to be oh-so messed up but me and html don't get along because i think he has a very cocky attitude and he thinks that i'm not even trying to understand him. this relationship needs more tlc.

save your speeches, flowers are for funerals

remember me as a time of the day

this blog is dying. slowly. but surely.

the water's warm and children swim

i've come to hate my body and all that it requires in this world

(i hate the big decisions that cause endless revisions in my mind)